Helping Hands: Part II
Mom with her favorite grandkids!
So, this is week 2 of our in-home help chronicles. My mom came in to take over for Anita. She was actually here when Doug got home from the rehab center (I’m not saying that’s what made her leave, but…!). The timing was actually very good because my mom was in Florida, vacationing with my brother, so it was just a hop, skip, and a jump for her to come to Texas.
For the first few days she helped with the hospital visits, plus we had fun times with Chuck E. Cheese. There were also homemade meals and some down-time in front of the television. And of course the obligatory trips to my doctors to make sure I wasn’t having the baby before my husband was up and walking around. I talk to my mom almost every day on the phone. She knows almost everything that’s going on with us, so it was very comforting having her here. There are some things that only your mom can make better.
It was great being able to talk with my mom every night after my visits with Doug. She was also there to help with Doug’s transition back to work. When Doug first came home he couldn’t drive and so his first morning back to work I was able to drive him into the office while my mom stayed home with the kids.
This whole experience has been so surreal to me, but our family has helped us cope. I am so grateful that we have people in our lives who were willing to drop everything to come take care of us. I can’t imagine how difficult this would have been without our families. My mom made everything so much easier for me and the boys.
Thanks mom!
Helping Hands: Part I
The Easter egg hunt
I think that it’s time that I hand out some acknowledgement to all the people who came to our rescue during the great ordeal of’ ‘09 (at least I hope that was the great ordeal of ‘09, because I don’t know if I can handle any more!). I’ve already written about what a lifesaver Ingrid was. Ingrid stayed here until my mother-in-law arrived.
We had previously arranged with Anita to came and stay with us for a few days after the baby was born, and I was a little nervous because we’ve never really had people come as soon as a baby arrived. Also, sometimes, the mother-n-law/daughter-in-law relationship can be a little difficult to navigate. So, I was also a little nervous about Anita coming while Doug was in the hospital.
Turns out I had nothing to worry about. I was so preoccupied with Doug that there was no time to worry about anything else. Anita came in and took over at home so that I could focus on Doug. She came with me and the kids to the hospital once a day, but I also got to go by myself once a day. She watched the kids while I went to doctor’s appointments. She also bought candy for Easter egg hunts and took William to the grocery store. She took all of the kids to McDonalds and the second hand bookstore. Grandpa also came for Easter week-end and he gave the boys haircuts.
Grandpa cutting William's hair
She took the kids on lots of adventures to Wal-Mart and Target. She cleaned. She basically made my home life worry-free for a week. This was also the first time that my kids had spent a chunk of time with just them and their granny. I think that was a very positive experience for my kids (hopefully it was a positive experience for granny!). This was also the visit that I learned that Anita likes to chat at night. I learned a lot about the Roberts family that week. Ironically, I think it was probably the most stress free visit ever!
Anita also came back to take over for my dad after we had the baby. This time she let me nap, take the baby to the doctor, and most helpful of all, she took the baby at night and let us get some sleep. It was probably the most appreciated night’s sleep in history! She also painted our stairwell on this visit! She has limitless energy!
Helping the kids find their eggs
Thanks Anita for making everything so easy for us during a not so easy time.
Pioneer Day, Texas Style
costumes and cotton candy
We lived in Utah through five Pioneer Days and I don’t ever recall doing anything to celebrate. There was always the big parade, but I’m no fan of huge crowds, so we never went. I think I might have watched part of a Pioneer Day parade on tv one year, but that’s about it. As far as ward activities go, I don’t think we ever did one. Apparently, because it’s state holiday in Utah, there are enough events happening without the individual wards getting involved. Or maybe there were big events but because neither Doug nor I are descended from pioneer stock, we just weren’t invited. Who knows, and I refuse to live in the past!
Benjamin as a cowboy
In Texas though, they enjoy a good Pioneer Day party. Here it is totally a church thing, even though there is a Pioneer Museum in Fredericksburg, the state of Texas does not endorse a day without mail service for Pioneer Heritage . Our stake however throws a big bash. There were ponies, and a tilt-a-whirl contraption, homemade kettle corn, cotton candy, a bounce house and all kinds of games.
Samuel as a cowboy
Since it was forecasted to be the hottest week-end of the year we decided to arrive and leave early. The only problem with getting there at 9:15 is that we were eating hot dogs for breakfast, and that was really only a problem in my mind! The kids loved the ponies (except for William because he’s too cautious to ride), and snow cones, and the bounce house. They didn’t even seem to mind the heat until it was time to leave. I myself, enjoyed probably more than my fair share of kettle corn! I also enjoyed all the people who held my baby!
William as a cowboy observer
We left before any of the serious games started. I don’t know who plays soft ball in that kind of heat, but they’re probably the same people who dress up in the bonnets and dresses. I don’t have that kind of devotion to the cause … I needed to be in shorts!
Afton with "grandma" Simpson
This is something that we’ve really enjoyed for the past couple of years, and it’s another reason that I like to think that San Antonio is actually “the place!”
The Pioneer Bounce House!
Seeing the Glass Half Full
I don’t think that I’m going to have too much more to write about the whole ordeal with Doug’s back, but I wanted to share one of the perks that we have enjoyed throughout this process:
It doesn't expire until October!
That’s right, my husband qualified for handicapped parking! That of course meant that I had to drag him with me everywhere so that I could have close parking. The best was at the movie theater! Even though the pass is good until October, Doug doesn’t think it’s right to use it anymore, since he’s feeling recovered. Curse that integrity; I like parking close!
Before and After: The Back Surgery
I don’t know how many of you have had to deal with neurosurgeons, but I don’t think they’re the most optimistic people. We have dealt with two, one for Ben’s head, and one for Doug’s back. Both times the doctors were very guarded. In Ben’s case everything turned out very well, but we didn’t know with Doug.
It’s hard to know what to say when the expert in his field tells you if you had waited a couple of days your husband could have been paralyzed. The worst part was the not knowing… how long it would take, how much better it would get…
For his part, Doug was not going to let this thing stop him. He never complained at the rehab center because he was, by far, the healthiest one there. When he came home from rehab I struggled with letting him do things like walking to the pantry because he wasn’t so good on his feet, and I thought the worst thing for his morale would be to fall.
Well, no worries here. He has successfully gone from wheelchair, to walker (oh how I wish I had photos of him with the walker), to cane (very sexy, a la Dr. House!), to brace, to this:
Back injury,what back injury?
That’s right, there’s my husband swinging off the side of a sail boat in the Halifax Harbour, with a smile on his face! Miracles still happen.
Giving the People What They Want
I have a received a few requests for more picutres of Afton, so I am obliging with a few shots from our recent trip north. These are the results of Afton’s first photo shoot with my extremely talented sister, Christina. If you’re in the Seattle area you should have her take your pictures!
Christina was taking pictures for the baby announcements, and these were some of the extras. I don’t think I’m too biased to say that she is the cutest thing ever!
She’s a little upset in this one, but that might be because it was cold, she wasn’t wearing clothes, and we had her propped up in an Adirondack chair!
And, lest you think that I’m the only sister who males gorgeous girls, here is Christina’s daughter:
What’s Wrong With This Picture?
They shouldn't even make diapers this size!
Back before I had kids, before I was even married for that matter, I had a plan. That plan included having a baby once every 3 years beginning two years after my wedding. Part of the reasoning behind the every three years spacing was the fact that I only wanted to have one baby in diapers at a time. I also only wanted to have one baby home at a time, and I was counting heavily on my love of the pre-school system.
Well, the best laid plans… because right now I have four children at home, none of them are older than five, and three of the children are still in diapers! That’s right, three different sizes of diapers! I can’t really explain why I deviated so drastically from my plan except to say that I love having kids. If we waited three years between kids I’d be missing half my family right now, and I’d also be limiting myself to the number of kids, because, let’s face it, I’m no longer a spring chicken!
Part of this is my fault, I should have been more proactive with William, but then we had Doug’s surgery and a million different house guest helpers and then a new baby and then lots of trips to show off the new baby. Unfortunately this has resulted in a three year old who couldn’t care less if he uses the toilet. I was hoping my sister-in-law Christie would be able to work some of her magic while we were in Canada, but she’s not a miracle worker!
So, now we are housebound. I’m letting William spend the day au naturel, hoping that he won’t pee all over the carpet! So, far so good. We’ve done this for two days, and I’m hoping it’ll only take a couple of more. Who knows, maybe I’ll try and train Benjamin while I’m at it!
If anyone has any less messy or more sanitary methods, I’m all ears!
Introducing Afton Rose
Well, last week was a very busy one, but without a doubt the highlight was the arrival of Miss Afton Rose. Although I was hoping she would come a little sooner so that her Aunt Christina and Grandma Ellen could have met her, I’m very glad she’s here now! I’m probably a little biased, but I think she’s the most beautiful thing ever! What is odd, is that Doug also thinks she’s super cute. It’s odd because she’s the spitting image of her brothers at two days old, and he always thought they were a little funny looking!
I was induced on Friday morning, and Afton joined us at 1:13 in the afternoon. I am very grateful to the in tune nurse who knew that I was worried about having the baby arrive with no one there. When she noticed that the heartbeat was gone off the monitor she came right away, and sure enough out fell the baby right then. Doug once again got pushed into action and had to bring in the cart from the hallway and flag down the doctor!
We went to a different hospital this time, and I was very impressed. It’s probably been the best hospital experience so far. That said, who likes to hang out in the hospital, so I came home yesterday so that I could relax properly!!
If you’re wondering about the name, all I can say is that we agreed on it, and that seems like enough! My grandmother’s middle name was Roseleen, but Doug was never a huge fan of that one, so we compromised on Rose, and Afton was something we saw one night and both liked. I think it’s starting to suit her more and more.
For those of you who are interested, here are her vitals:
weight: 7lb 7oz
length: 20 1/2 inches
date: May 22, 2009
time: 1:13 pm
Afton with grandpa and her big brothers
Overwhelmed …
Just one of our many blessings!
… with gratitude.
So, I have been struggling with how or if I should write about what’s been going on at our home during the past couple of weeks. How do I, without going into too much detail, write about all of the miracles that we have experienced?
I have never really been inclined to write about the more spiritual aspects of our lives, but I cannot ignore the role that that has played in this whole situation. I don’t know that we would have recognized all the miracles if we hadn’t had some idea of the bigger picture. There have been lots of things that we haven’t fully understood previously, but that are making more and more sense to us now.
So, although our current situation is far from ideal, I am so grateful that it has been infinitely improved by wonderful family, friends, doctors and employers, to name a few.
I cannot fully describe how comforting it was to have Doug’s brother and his family here. Not only did Mike’s knowlege expedite Doug’s ER experience, he was also there to give blessings and medical advice. I have written about my sister-in-law Ingrid before, but her presence comforted me as much as Mike’s comforted Doug. She stayed with 7 kids all day while we were at the hospital. Then, she stayed an extra two days with her two youngest kids while Mike drove back to Florida with the two oldest. She cleaned bathrooms, bedrooms, the laundry room and kitchen all while watching the kids. She told me not to worry and to just go and be with Doug. When I was having my worst moments, she was the one offering hugs and assuring me it would all be okay. I am just so grateful that I already had a good relationship with her so that having her here seemed like the most normal thing in the world.
I have often told people that they should come to Texas because it is so friendly. When we needed advice on the medical situation I was so happy that I knew I could call my RS President, and not because she’s the RS president, but because she’s my friend. She took care of so many things, that I’m not sure I’ll ever get the full tally. She got the neurosurgeon on the phone, she screened calls, she brought dinner and made sure my kids had Easter baskets and Easter eggs to dye. She kept on calling both me and Ingrid to make sure that I was doing okay, and she was passing along the updates on Doug to those who needed to know. I used to joke with her about not wanting to make it to the worry list, and my hope now is that I’m not on the list for too long!
Now, the neurosurgeon. Doug and I have made many jokes about the abundance of doctors in our ward. It seems like every specialty is covered, and we are always sort of waiting for something big to happen at church one day. We never really thought that we would be the beneficiaries of the expertise. Suffice it to say that one of the most obvious miracles was the neurosurgeon who just so happens to specialize in the minimally invasive version of the type of surgery that Doug needed. We wanted to talk to him just to make sure that what the hospital recommended was the right course of action for us. He offered to come in and do the less invasive surgery at a much closer, brand new hospital, using state of the art tools that he helped to develop. Because of this doctor, the biggest wait we had was for the ambulance to take us to the new hospital. When Doug arrived, the whole surgical team was ready and waiting, and these people all had to be called in. This was a Saturday afternoon, and we were the only ones there.
One of my biggest worries with this whole situation was how Doug would react. I knew that we would be okay, and that whatever his recovery was we would make it work, but I worried that Doug might not be so optimistic. He’s had some bad moments, but so far, they’ve been followed by some great accomplishments. I know that this is more his trial than mine, but I’ve been so impressed with his attitude of appreciation for all of our good fortune. And, not to say that Doug isn’t normally appreciative of his family, but I haven’t minded having him call me a “ray of sunshine,” or “the best wife!”
Doug’s mom came and spent the week with us after Ingrid left. I was a little worried about this, because I had never spent any extended period of time alone with her. How would she react to Doug or to the kids or to my reactions to what was going on? I was so pleasantly surprised. We had a lot of great talks, and I think that her relationship with my kids is the best it’s ever been. She spent many hours with the boys which allowed me to spend time alone with Doug every day. She took them grocery shopping and to the playground. They also had trips to Wal-Mart and McDonalds. I’m hoping that we didn’t take too much advantage of her, and that she’ll still want to come back when we have the baby! Here again I am grateful to Doug’s brother Mike, because he was the one who made the call to my mother-in-law. I don’t know if I would have done that on my own.
My mom is here this week to help, and hopefully things will go just as smoothly. She was in Florida with my brother, so she was able to get here a little more easily than she would have had she been in Canada. The boys love having grandparents around, and I think it takes some of the stress away from Doug not being here. It’s also a great de-stresser for me to have my mom here.
Now I just need to take a minute to thank everyone who has called, sent cards, gifts, brought by meals and goody baskets full of geeky magazines, and in the case of one particularly insane friend, hijacked my front porch and filled it with flowers. Doug has had lots of visitors, and people have stopped by to check on me. I really appreciate that my friends here know me well enough to make me laugh with jokes about walkers and handicapped parking stickers! I have a sister who has the most amazing gift for knowing what to say in tough situations. She has also called to check up on me and just make me feel better. I don’t know how people can get through this kind of thing without a huge support system, and I’m very glad that I don’t have to find out.
We are hoping that Doug will be home soon and that we’ll see some more miracles with his recovery. I won’t list all the other things that we’ve enjoyed, because I don’t want you all to think that I’m bragging. Until now I’ve never really understood how people could be grateful for their trials, but ever so slowly and surely, I’m starting to understand.
Strawberry Fields Forever
In front of the goats
Last Friday we had plans to go strawberry picking with some friends in Marble Falls. Right before we left, Andrea called to say there weren’t really any berries at the field, and did we still want to go. I think she was secretly hoping that we would say no, but my boys already had their shoes on, and I was not dealing with the aftermath of taking away their Friday adventure!
Ben with his very own strawberry
I think everything actually worked out really well. Picking your own berries usually ends up being a pretty pricey adventure for us, but when you only pick 50 it’s not really all that expensive! There was also a little animal farm and strawberry lemonade and ice cream (which I did not get to eat, thank you very much gestational diabetes!).
William and Samuel working the fields!
After the berry picking we went to Johnson Park in Marble Falls for a picnic. It was a perfect day, the boys were well behaved, and I had a wonderful visit with Andrea. This might even have gotten us a little bit prepared for picking peaches again after the baby arrives!
