Take Me to Your Leader

March 12, 2008 at 3:59 pm (Kids)


So, this is how one goes about getting a super fancy helmet to guide the growth of a misshapen head. First, a sock is placed on the aforementioned misshapen head, then some sticky thing-a-ma-bobber is placed on top so that the very star trek like laser has some kind of reference point. Then, the very nice lady hands the baby a two dollar light up toy (which my 36 year-old boy managed to break!) to distract him from the laser beam. When she finishes scanning, the image appears on a computer screen, and from that image some people in Phoenix make a custom molded helmet of what the baby’s head should look like. It’s like AutoCAD for infants. Then, all you need is three months, and hopefully the head comes out looking like the helmet.

Unfortunately for our wallet and our baby’s sensitive head, our baby is some kind of growing superstar. He has already outgrown his helmet! The neurosurgeon said that he should be fine, and not to worry about it anymore. There was however, a lot of hemming and hawing before she came up with that answer. So, I decided to take the baby for his final helmet appointment just so that I could make sure everything was as it should be. It turns out that in the space of two weeks the baby regressed 2 mm. Now 2 mm isn’t really all that much, but apparently it’s enough to worry the helmet people. I’m not sure if these people work on commission or what, but there are a whole lot of differing opinions as to the necessity of a brand new helmet. If this 2 mm is going to throw off my son’s symmetry and make it impossible for him to find a wife, than I’m all for him getting a new helmet. I don’t really want ladies attracted to him solely for his brain; they’ve got to think he’s gorgeos too! It’s a tough world out there for geniuses, and you’ve got to take all the help you can get!

Now, I’m just wait for the helmet people to talk to the head people to see if they can come up with some kind of consensus. Hopefully we won’t need another helmet, but if we do, I’m getting a whole new design. I’m thinking maybe solar system this time. Of course, I am in Texas, and they do offer a camouflage version …  


  1. Christina said,

    Scary picture! Here’s to hoping for a perfect head without anymore helmets!

  2. Nisa Hunt said,

    My Nathan loves kiddo’s in those helmets. He thinks they are on a football team. So his vote would most certainly be camo. Is there anything cooler than a football playing army hero?

  3. Greg said,

    Hmmmm . . .maybe I am single because my head symmetry is 2mm off.

    It all makes sense now. Maybe I need implants 😛

  4. ingrid said,

    Oh, sweet Benjamin. I hope everything works out and the head & helmet people come to a consensus soon! And how did your 36 year old boy break that toy?

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