9 Years

July 6, 2011 at 7:41 am (Dougisms, Family, Makes me Smile, Marriage)

So young and carefree!

I’m going to take a quick break from my never-ending re-cap today. It’s my anniversary, so I thought I’d do a little sharing about my fabulous married life! I have to tone it down a little bit, because I don’t want all of my many readers (hi mom!) to be jealous. If you know Doug at all, you know I’m married to the most romantic man … ever! (There really should be a sarcasm font!)

Look what 9 years does!

Last night Doug asked me if we should buy gifts for today. I told him I want him to just apply this year’s gift to the big celebration next year! The gift for 9 years is supposed to be pottery, and I’m all good on knick-knacks, so I’m waiting for the gift to be European Vacation without the children! We won’t out for dinner on Friday because we knew it would be impossible to get a sitter tonight because of Girls’ Camp and EFY. Besides, sometimes it’s nice to just cook a fancy dinner at home. Sadly though, I forgot to go to the grocery store before Doug left for work, and now I’m going to do my meal shopping with all 5 kids … slightly not romantic!

Sometimes I just need to look at this so I can smile through the madness!

So, you’re probably wondering how we do it, and how we make it look so easy? There are a lot of trade secrets that I’m keeping to myself until I publish the how-to book, but until then, just know that it helps to be married to a comedian! With 5 kids all under the age of 8, I need to laugh as much as possible! It also helps to be married to someone who is super smart. When I’m having those sleep deprived days where I can’t remember the names of my children, it’s good to remember that Doug wouldn’t marry someone stupid! Last but not least, you need to manage expectations. I think that’s a fancy way of saying don’t set the bar too high, but it helps to not expect flowers every day, then when they do come, I’m pleasantly surprised! This philosophy also works with my children!

So, happy anniversary do us! I hope I didn’t ruin it all for the rest of you!!

p.s. Should this have been a serious post … maybe next year? In case you’re worried, we’re all still very much in love!!


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Official Worst Week of 2010

July 3, 2011 at 8:46 pm (Dougisms, Family, Grrr!, Mom Stuff)

I probably came closest to restarting the blog during the last week of 2010. That was the week that refused to go right for us. That was the week that caused us to visit the hospital three times in three days. Two trips to the ER and one trip for surgery. Let me tell you how much you don’t want to spend your New Year’s Eve: in the ER with your 18 month old. The nurse cannot give you enough popsicles to make it okay!

Let’s start at the very beginning:

It was a mildly chilly evening, December 29, 2010. Our kids should have all been in bed asleep. I was mourning the loss of my little sister who had left that afternoon to go back to BYU. Normally we would go in ad yell at our kids for being up too late, but we were being a little lazy. Then, a scream shot through the house, the likes of which we had never heard from one of our kids.

When Samuel came running out of his room, Doug already had his shoes on because he knew he was on his way to the hospital. Samuel came over to me with an arm that wasn’t hanging normally. I hate these moments, but I was totally unprepared for what was to come.

One of the problems with living so close to excellent hospitals is having to choose which ER to frequent. Because of the awesome experience we had when Doug hurt his back, we went to Methodist. The doctor on duty told Doug the arm was broken, they set it in a soft cast and told us to call the pediatric surgeon in the morning. He thought it might need surgery, but you never know, because “kids are resilient.” I don’t know why he fed us that load of nonsense, but it would have been much better if he had just said that Samuel was going to need surgery. It would have saved us a lot of heartache the next day.

Doug brought Samuel home at about 10:30 that night, with a prescription in his hand. Here is a helpful hint: when the hospital gives you a prescription for a painkiller, fill it. Just in case. Because if you have to go to the pharmacy in the middle of the night, it’s going to seem like the longest half an hour … ever!

Samuel seemed okay when he first got home. The most upset he got was when he told me how they had to cut off his brand new Mario shirt to get the cast on (thankfully though, Aunt Ingrid and Grandpa both sent us very generous amounts of Mario gear to replace what got lost). Once he went to bed though, it was non stop pain for Samuel… and maybe a little for me. Because they didn’t set the arm at the hospital, every time Samuel moved, his broken bone was shifting. I made Doug go to the pharmacy at midnight to fill the prescription. The medication helped, but there was still a lot of crying. I stayed with Samuel in the guest room, and I have to say, it was one of the longest nights that I can remember.

The next morning I called the surgeon first thing, and they told us to come in at 4:30. The doctor’s office called back at noon and told us not to let Samuel eat anything, just in case he needed surgery. Samuel spent the day in bed with a DS that we save for special occasions! The other kids had to stay away, which was sad for all of them.

Doug came home from work early, and we dropped the kids off at Dixie’s, for what I thought would be a couple of hours. Here is something else I’ve learned, if the doctor’s office calls and tells you not to eat, it’s because they’re doing surgery. It would have been very helpful if they had just told us that so that we could have prepared Samuel and our other kids, not to mention Dixie! When we first saw the doctor he said that Samuel needed surgery. When we asked him when we should do it, he said we were doing it right now!

The surgery went well, and he felt so much better as soon as everything was set properly. The doctor stuck two pins above his elbow and re-wrapped the arm. Amazingly to me, Samuel only needed the cast for 3 weeks. It was the additional months of therapy + the crazy brace that he had to wear for an hour every day that got on my nerves!

So, you would think that would be enough of a week, right? On the afternoon of New Year’s Eve I headed to Costco to buy some stuff to make a nice New Year’s Eve dinner. We were keeping it low key and staying home. While I was driving home Doug called and asked if I remembered when Samuel smacked his head on the fireplace and needed stitches. That’s never a way to start a phone conversation! Then Doug said that it happened again.

Of course, Doug wanted to leave me in suspense about which kid had fallen. I assumed it was William, because I figured since he was the one fighting with Samuel when he broke his arm, that he had something coming! I was wrong. It was Afton jumping on the fireplace!

When I took a look at the cut, I told Doug that I thought she needed stitches. He said he thought a band-aid was fine, but it was right above her eye, and I thought better safe than sorry. Doug was a little worried about all the trips to the hospital, and was thinking we were going to get some kind of reputation! I decided to take Afton over to a friend’s house to get a medical opinion. I know, it was nice of me to ruin their New Year’s Eve too! The Dunns said we should go get stitches, and so off we went.

I called Doug (maybe to tell him that I was right about the whole stitches situation) and he told me to go to urgent care. I thought this was a job for the hospital, but the previous ER visits were worrying Doug. So, off I went to Urgent Care. This is perhaps my final helpful hint: If you have an 18 month old with a gash right above her eye, just go to the ER. The Urgent Care people will have you wait, fill out forms, go to the treatment room, and then tell you to go to the hospital because they don’t do stitches near the eye.

I decided to call Doug (maybe to tell him that I was right about Urgent Care), and then I decided to make a visit to the Baptist ER, just in case Methodist was keeping track of our visits! All things considered, we were in and out of the hospital very quickly. Baptist has a separate ER for kids, and we got there before all the crazy drunken New Year’s nonsense happened. Afton got 6 stitches in her eyebrow, and hopefully you won’t even be able to notice the scar by the time she’s 15!

Okay, so this is the longest post ever! If I had been up to date on my blogging I would have been able to spread this out over 3 posts! If you’ve made it this far, I’m very impressed! Just know that everyone made it through the end of the year … just with some stories to tell!

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#2 Military Cut

November 18, 2009 at 11:03 pm (Dougisms, Grrr!)

not so bad!

So, a couple of days before the first day of school it was decided tat Samuel needed a hair cut. It was getting kind of shaggy, and we wanted to make sure that he looked appropriately cool for kindergarten! Normally Doug cuts the boys’ hair (except for William), but we didn’t want any unevenness (is that even a word?) to impede him in the friend making department. So, while we were sitting around the table Doug was instructing Samuel on how to talk to the hairdresser. He said, “make sure you tell her that you want a #1 military, all over.”

The next day we headed to the salon, and I told the lady, “#1 military, all over.” She looked at me and replied, “No, you don’t want that.” I then explained that was what my husband wanted. She asked me if my husband was in the military. The hairdresser then suggested that we start with a #2. If I still wanted it shorter the we could do that later.

Halfway through the cut the stylist tried to make a joke and told Samuel that she was done. Haha, not funny to a five-year old! The whole thing was crazy, but when it was all over, I thought he looked good.

We get home, and Samuel runs outside to show his dad, at which point Doug comes running at me asking me what I did I answered, “#2, military style.”

“Why would you do that?”

“You told me to.”

“I was joking!”

Apparently I didn’t get the joke!

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Before and After: the Car Seat

August 8, 2009 at 5:45 pm (before and after, Dougisms, Makes me Smile)

A seat fit for three boys!

A seat fit for three boys!


To Whom it May Concern,

                                                      Apparently you didn’t appreciate my husband’s sense of reduce, re-use, recycle. Or maybe you just knew that I had asked my husband for a new car seat because I thought 3 kids per car seat was enough. You knew my husband’s response was something along the lines of, “Plastic doesn’t go bad.” Or maybe you thought that the blue circus theme wasn’t appropriate for our new little girl.

                                                       Whatever your reasons, I was very pleasantly surprised to arrive home from a date with my husband to see this on the front step:


                                                        We asked the babysitter if she saw who dropped it off, but she said whoever it was ran really, really fast. Doug wondered what was inside (appearances can be deceiving!). Then he wondered who would do such a thing. Who thought our car seat wasn’t good enough?! His first thought was my dad, but I told him that my dad hadn’t commented on the car seat, so I was pretty sure it wasn’t him. I asked around on Facebook, and someone suggested that it might have been Greg, but that didn’t ring true either! I thought it was a particular friend. Doug decided to do some detective work the next day at church. Who would look at us funny for not bringing the new car seat with us (it was very late, and church starts very early)?!

                                       When we got to church Doug agreed with my original hypothesis. All I can say is, thank you so much for being so thoughtful. We love the new seat, and even though I know plastic doesn’t go bad, I think the baby is all the safer for being in the new seat.



Afton's new ride!

Afton's new ride!

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Seeing the Glass Half Full

July 25, 2009 at 11:07 pm (Dougisms, Fun Stuff)

I don’t think that I’m going to have too much more to write about the whole ordeal with Doug’s back, but I wanted to share one of the perks that we have enjoyed throughout this process:

It doesn't expire until October!

It doesn't expire until October!


That’s right, my husband qualified for handicapped parking! That of course meant that I had to drag him with me everywhere so that I could have close parking. The best was at the movie theater! Even though the pass is good until October, Doug doesn’t think it’s right to use it anymore, since he’s feeling recovered. Curse that integrity; I like parking close!

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Neverending Surprises

March 1, 2009 at 3:53 pm (Doug Stuff, Dougisms)

Sometimes I think there’s nothing my husband can do to surprise me, that I’ve heard every story possible (in the case of the Navajo Taco story, too many times!). I know all about his childhood. We’ve driven by his old house, his old school, where he stood up to the kids who wanted to beat him up, and the path he used to follow to get from his house to his grandmother’s house. I’d like to think I know a fair bit about the father of my children.

I know, for example, that he will leave the room if I turn on certain television shows. Also, bringing up certain political figures is guaranteed to elicit predictable responses. Not that this ever happens, but if I hypothetically wanted to toy with my husband, I might say something like, “That Al Gore sure is a genius when it comes to the environment. Can you believe he also invented the internet?” (I do this very sincerely, or else it doesn’t have the desired effect!)

So, imagine my surprise when, while fast forwarding through an old episode of the Gilmore Girls last night I experience the following dialogue:

Rory and Jess - rory-and-jess photo 

image from fanpop.com


Luke: Jess is gone.

Lorelai: Do you know where?

Luke: Yeah, I think I know where

Doug: Didn’t Jess go to California to see his Dad?

Alright, I paraphrased the dialogue a little bit, but not Doug’s contribution from the sofa (while he was in the middle of programming his video game, by the way! Such the multi tasker!)

And you think you know someone!

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Attack at Dawn

September 20, 2008 at 3:36 pm (Dougisms)

Hard at work!

Hard at work!

5 words that never mean what you think when they’re coming from Doug:


Do you know what’s interesting?


Now the answer is yes, I know what’s interesting. I don’t know if Doug actually knows what’s “interesting!”

This question came while Doug was working on the computer. What was he working on? Well, what would you be working on? Encryption of course! Doug has a few books on encryption, you know, for light reading! And hey, what better way to spend an evening than to encrypt random phrases. Now, maybe you think that’s the pinnacle of excitement at our house. Well, you’re wrong. We don’t stop at encryption, sometimes we advance to double encryption! That’s right, I know how jealous you all are, but that’s how we roll here!   




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I have no words!

September 8, 2008 at 4:01 pm (Dougisms)

*****Alrighty, maybe Doug didn’t enjoy that as much as me! Hopefully you got to see it while you had the chance!**********

Some of you know my husband to be a serious fellow. I seriously debated posting  this clip, because once it’s public, I can’t blackmail him later. Oh well, I say share the love! I would also add that this performance had the dubious honor of causing Doug’s parents to leave the talent show/karaoke. Enjoy!!

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Like Father, Like Son

June 5, 2008 at 1:23 pm (Dougisms, Family)

I don’t know what just happened, but I figure maybe the blogging gods were trying to tell me something. I just wrote this whole huge long blog about Doug and my in-laws. Nothing bad, just a funny little slice of life from their visit yesterday. Anyway, when I went to post it the only thing that showed up was the title. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise!

Here though, was the inspiration behind the title:

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Mon mari, le gourmand/ Jam Brulee

April 24, 2008 at 10:38 am (Dougisms, Makes me Smile)

I have written before about my husband’s lack of exaggerated compliments. Sometimes it works out well for me. For example, the first time I made the plum pie he was very impressed. Sometimes however, it does not work out so well.

Case in point: Spaghetti. I make spaghetti fairly often. I make a big batch and I stick it in the freezer so that we can have easy meals when I don’t want to cook. A couple of years ago I made a batch and Doug got a weird look on his face. I couldn’t taste anything wrong, so I asked him what he was thinking (I should know better!). He said, “Oh, it’s fine, but do you think you could get your father’s recipe?”

Now, I’m not pretending to be a better cook than my dad, but I know for a fact that, in my family, we all use the same recipe. “No,” Doug assures me, “your dad’s is better.” At this point I am new wife, and am easily taken to being insulted, but whatever, I just keep on making my sauce. When my dad was here last week though, he offered to make spaghetti one day. So, I pull out all of my ingredients and I take notes. What is it that he does differently? He uses everything I give him, and does it the way I do it, so what is going on? And then he leaves! He heads off to the store for some extra ingredients. Aha … this is it! I will finally know the secret. I’m on my way to finally satisfying my husband’s spaghetti sauce needs. What, you ask, does my father bring home from the store? Some Italian seasoning, or maybe it was Oregano (clearly I should be taking better notes!), and some Ragu! Apparently my Wal-Mart brand seasoning wasn’t cutting it (I think my dad mentioned something about being frugal), and the Ragu was just for adding volume. So, for all intents and purposes I feel the sauce was the same, and yet when we sat down to dinner that night, Doug knew that the sauce wasn’t mine! Grrr!

Case in Point #2: Jam. I have, on a few occasions attempted to make freezer jam. For the most part I think it’s usually turned out well. I use it in a lot of cooking, plus for sandwiches. However, Doug is no fan of the freezer jam. I don’t know what experience in his youth made him bitter against the freezer but he has made very clear that he doesn’t like the jam.

So, after berry picking on Saturday I decide to make some actual cooked jam. I go over many recipes and finally settle on one that has many good reviews, and that requires no extra ingredients. I pull out my candy thermometer and my big pot and I get set to go. I put three plates in the freezer so that I can check the consistency. All is going well. The jam is boiling, and the thermometer is reading 210. I know that I have to go to 220, so I stand at the pot and I stir. I know from the comments with the recipe that it takes a long time to go from 210 to 220, so I’m not worried. I’m heating up my jars, and I wait. The mixture hits 220 and I start arranging my jars. Here is where I encountered my first problem. I should have just turned the stove off, because in the time it took to arrange the jars, the temperature of the jam sky-rocketed to 230!

I should have just left well enough alone. I should have cut my losses, but I decided to continue with the canning process. I bottled all of those slightly caramelized jars of jam. Everything sealed up nicely. Then I went upstairs.

Doug wasn’t home for any of this. I heard him come in and make his way over to the little bowl of extra that I set out. Then I hear him come up the stairs. What do you think his first words to me were? I’ll tell you, “Sarah, you let that jam get to soft ball.” That’s right, soft ball. He’s killing me with candy making terminology! Worst of all, he was right. I made strawberry candy that I couldn’t get out of the jar!

The next night Doug tried to fix the problem by re-doing all the jam. It turns out that my candy thermometer was way off, so I don’t feel too bad. Doug used three thermometers to properly calibrate! After a couple of hours, Doug got everything to the proper texture, but there was no getting rid of the slight burnt sugar taste of the first night.

Ah, what will I experiment with next. I have to find what I’m passionate about and good at soon!

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